What Envy Reveals
Envy is a tricky thing. As one of the seven deadly sins in the Bible, it’s fair to say it’s not considered to be a desirable trait. But it may be worth looking deeper into our envy. I’m not saying we were mistaken in viewing envy as toxic but that some toxins might be wielded to our advantage.
For one thing, looking at the people we envy might reveal a lot about ourselves. It might be a worthy exercise to not only think about those we admire but also those whose lives we envy. The point is not to take it as matter of fact but to dig into what about the person we envy. Rather, what assumptions about the person do we envy? Because unless they are us, we can’t really know what their life is actually like. We merely have our perception, one that was formed by our own beliefs and what we want to see.
As I think about the individuals I am envious of, I realize there are similarities with many of them. It’s not mere fame or wealth but what they might represent to me. One big realization was that I’m not envious of a single Fortune 500 CEO. Actually, no one on my list is an executive at a big company. Now, this might be because of one of the requirements for envy.
One requirement for envy to brew is plausible comparability. A peasant farmer in the 1100s could not ever see himself comparable to a king or lord. It was not possible for a peasant to ascend to a position of nobility. But, in a capitalistic world, there is much greater equality. Wealth inequality might exist but it’s not impossible for someone from a disadvantaged background to reach global success. It’s hard, like it should be, but it’s not impossible.
Such plausible comparability is what makes us envy people. I don’t envy Warren Buffett, Charlie Munger, Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk. I admire them for who they are and what they’ve accomplished. But I’m not envious of them. I don’t want their lives. Honestly, I have a hard time comprehending what their lives must be like and how I could deal with it at all. But, the people I’m envious of are also amazing investors, authors, and individual creators. I don’t want to offend any by implying they are on my level. But I acknowledge that I do see it possible for me to build a career and life like these individuals. It seems possible and plausible. The chances are slim but it’s something I can genuinely believe as possible. It’s on the edges of what I can do but it feels possible.
“Envy is a really stupid sin because it's the only one you could never possibly have any fun at. There's a lot of pain and no fun. - Charlie Munger
I agree with Munger. It truly is stupid. But, it could be a tool to use as a lens to what you seem to believe.