A Guide To The Good Life by William Irvine
Review & Rating: 8/10
A cheesy title that made me doubt the referral. But I’m glad I gave it a go. Prior to this book, my exposure to Stoicism came from Seneca’s essays, Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations, and Ryan Holiday’s books. Various Youtube lectures supplemented the learning as well. In hindsight, I wish I had started with this book because it might have helped frame the philosophy better for me. Alas, it’s never too late to correct most mistakes in life.
Irvine starts with a look at the history of Stoicism and shares the teachings through the four Roman teachers: Epictetus, Rufus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius. In a Stoic manner, the book shows facts and uses reason and logic to portray the benefits of having a philosophy of life and how Stoicism might fit the bill. Not that there is a right way.
It’s an easy read that made me ponder more about my own values and how else I could tweak my systems for life. It may act as a reference guide, at least for the latter chapters that act more like directives (i.e. do this, don’t do this). Much of the message in the book made sense to me and it was very much like when I read about value investing through Warren Buffett. It’s the kind of book where you get it or you don’t. I could see many disagree with the book. Some may end up disagreeing after practicing it too. But, like most things that don’t kill you, it’s better to have failed at practicing Stoicism than to not have practiced it at all.
Book Notes:
The goal of the ancient stoics was to banish negative emotions.
Socrates had two pupils: Plato + Antisthenes. Plato taught Socrates’s theory while Antisthenes taught Socrates’s way of life, founding the Cynic school.
Of the many schools of philosophy, the Stoics found themselves between the Cynics and Cyrenaics. The Cynics believe in the ascetic lifestyle and shunned all desire. Cyrenaics thought the goal of life was pleasure and taking every opportunity to experience it. Stoics believed in enjoying all the pleasures of life but not clinging to it. To be fine with it all disappearing.
No matter what one’s philosophy on life is, it’s better to HAVE a philosophy of life (whatever it may be) than to not have one at all.
Philosophy is the art of living. Life is the medium to practice such art. Living is a tough slog. Not a graceful dance but the struggle of wrestling. The pain and struggle are what we must learn to embrace. Therein lies the opportunity.
Stoics come from Stoa Poikile, the place Zeno gave lectures to his followers (Zenonians). Which was the theoretical side of Cynicism (abandoning the ascetic life) and focusing on logic (one’s ability to reason).
The Greek Stoics focused on attaining virtue. The Roman Stoics took that and focused on attaining tranquility, seeing it as a precursor to virtue. It was also easier to market tranquility due to its practicality versus virtue. Stoicism started in a school, which had to run as a business.
Tranquility is the absence of negative emotions (i.e. grief, anger, anxiety)
Four Roman Stoics: Seneca, Rufus Musonius, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius.
Rufus taught Epictetus. Epictetus’s teachings influenced Aurelius.
Seneca was an investment banker, playwright, senator, tutor to Emperor Nero. Nero had him executed on the advice of jealous counselors. Seneca took his tortured death in stride. Displaying the Stoic attitude of being ready to let go of everything good when circumstances changed.
“It is difficulties that show what men are.” - Epictetus
Emperor Hadrian adopted Antonius, who adopted Marcus. These three emperors are the last of the Five Good Emperors during the 200-year Pax Romana. Is it odd that the best emperors were hand-selected (i.e. adopted) and groomed up instead of relying on hereditary heirs? One need consider how unlikely such individuals making such selections were…one after another. The luck involved in the process but also the question of nature and nurture in the process. Was it the practice of adopting and grooming an heir that set up the right practices?
Aurelius would finance wars by selling imperial possessions (even his wife’s jewelry) instead of raising taxes. He would ask the Senate permission before spending money (though he didn’t need to). He didn’t put himself above the Senate despite his status as emperor. Yet, the man lost eight children, got betrayed constantly, had to deal with plagues and famine and his journal (Meditations) reveals how he took it all in tranquil stride.
“The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.” - Marcus Aurelius.
The human default is hedonic adaptation. He wants the next new/best thing after another as we get bored of what we have. The “satisfaction treadmill”. The cure is to learn to want things we already have. It helps to realize the impermanence of everything we have. Family & friends will die. Experiences end. Relationships end. Seasons change. Life changes constantly.
Stoics practiced negative visualization: to imagine losing all we hold dear. Epictetus would say to imagine the death of your child while you kiss them goodnight to learn to truly appreciate their existence.
Those who deny the truth that all good things end will fail to appreciate the present and live to regret such appreciation when the end comes. Remember, it’s only when he learns how to die that we learn how to live.
It’s probably a worthy practice to end each day asking the self if I spent the day doing things worth doing.
“….to someone who has not lost his capacity for joy, the world is a wonderful place.”
Negative visualization is a way to appreciate all the small things in life that make up the entirety of life itself. The error is looking at it as a pessimistic act.
To minimize regret in life, visualizing life devoid of choices and experiences seems a prudent strategy.
“To practice negative visualization, after all, is toe contemplate the impermanence of the world around us.”
Every time we do something, realize it could be the last time. The last time you visit somewhere, eat something, see someone, etc….
Most things in life are 1) Within my control, 2) Not within my control, 3) somewhat within my control
It’s best to stick with what’s within my control. Truly, fully within my control. For things that are somewhat in your control, internalize the goals to aspects within your own control.
Focusing on the inner scorecard is also in line with focusing on things within your control.
Gain contentment by changing ourselves. Not the world around us. Focus on what we can control. The bonus is if we can impact the world by changing ourselves.
This is much like not desiring X% returns from investing. That isn’t within our control. Instead, desire to have studied X number of companies. To have your portfolio be one you have conviction in.
Desiring what is out of your control (i.e. a job, investment returns) is the fast lane to anxiety and disruption of tranquility.
Be fatalistic about the past. It can’t be changed. Should’ve, would’ve, and could’ve aren’t helpful to dwell about unless it changes how you act now.
To desire for a different state is much linked with the sin of ‘envy’. Because you are desiring a different state from yours right now by comparing it to something someone else has. As Charlie Munger says, this is the one sin where you have no fun at all. Stoics too say it merely leaves you in a state of dissatisfaction. Instead, focus on appreciating what you have now. What can you do with what you have now?
If negative visualization is looking at how things could be worse, fatalism is about not looking at how things could be better. To avoid comparisons that can result in envy.
This made me wonder about the dangers of complacency. But the Stoics do focus on a constant improvement of the self and to do good for society, living a life of purpose that starts with working on the self. They never sought fame and money but it came to them. I think it’s precisely because they didn’t search out such extrinsic metrics of success. It’s about focusing every day on doing one’s own best and appreciating everything one has.
Learn to derive pleasure from self-discipline. For practicing self-control. Take pleasure in not doing stupid things.
The more pleasures a man captures, the more masters he will have to serve. Comfort and pleasure, when indulged, narrows our reference of experiences and will end up owning us.
Willpower is a muscle. You aren’t born maxed out with it. You train it.
The goal is to be thoroughly in control of oneself. That’s the attraction of Stoicism for me. A philosophy that advocates for something I want makes it easier to adopt.
The analytic technique seems helpful for curbing desires. It’s a way of looking at everything as a set of facts that make up an object. A new luxury bag can be classified as a piece of plastic-cotton material stitched together by some kid in Vietnam that has a few metal bits stuck to it and has the name of some European man you never knew. Same for sex, which is the rubbing of two naked bodies with an explosive finish.
Meditative practice is to ask yourself while you are lying in bed: what failings you’ve resisted, where you’ve made improvements, and what problems you’ve solved.
A Stoic meditation isn’t like the emptying of a Buddhist meditation but an active reflection of the day. How did you handle yourself? Were you disciplined? Did you give in to negative emotions like envy? Have you refrained from dwelling on the past and focused on the present and future? Did you refrain from blaming others instead of yourself when things didn’t go your way?
Seneca notes his goal in practicing Stoicism is to reduce the number of personal vices and mistakes every day. It’s like Munger advises. Merely avoid doing stupid things.
Aurelius believed the true reward in life is to be doing what one was made to do. Not the thanks or admiration for doing one’s social duty. But knowing what that is and doing it. Resulting in a good life. That’s the reward.
Be very selective of who you invite into your inner circle. As Antonius did, it might be preferred to select your own “family” with people aligned with your values. Avoid the melancholy, pessimists, and those who strive on complaining.
If you find yourself annoyed with the people in your life, you have only but yourself to blame. Assholes will act like assholes, what else do you expect? What is in your control is to stay away from them.
The best way to deal with insults is to either ignore them or agree with them. Learn to laugh at yourself. Self-deprecation is actually a wonderful tactic to get people to like you because it lets them feel okay being flawed too.
As Seneca says
“Why is it an insult to be told what is evident?”
It’s true. If you’re fat, you’d do well to have a friend that tells you that you’re fat so you can do something about it. The worst people are the ones who tell you it’s beautiful and okay.
As for grief, don’t mourn the loss. Instead, be thankful for having had the person in your life. What joy they brought to you! Grieving a loss makes it a loss for the dead and living. That’s silly. The living should be joyous for they are alive and the dead would gladly trade places.
Seneca calls anger: brief insanity. He has a full essay called On Anger.
Anger is a precious waste of time. It shows faults in the person getting angry than the one the anger is directed towards. Fight what makes you angry by laughing at how sad and trivial it is because it’s all impermanent. Most things we get angry about won’t matter.
If you fail and have an outburst. Apologize for it. Admit the mistake and it will lessen the chance you have another outburst. It’s true. It’s done wonders for my own anger issues.
Don’t strive for fame or admiration. External validation is empty when it’s sought as the means.
Forget legacies, they are out of your control. Even if you founded a country, someone’ll find a way to shit on you after you’re dead.
Most people want you to fail. They won’t admit it but that’s the default. Most people can’t bear to see you succeed when they didn’t and when they cheer for your wins…it may not be the case inside. It’s the default. Accept that and move on. Makes it easier to ignore what others say or think.
Beware your heroes. Look at where they end up to determine if their values align with yours to warrant them being heroes.
Fear of failure is linked to caring too much about what others think of you. Tackle it by sharing your failures openly. Put it out there and make it normal. Hopefully, it’ll stop you from not doing things you want/should do out of fear of what others think. Others include the societal culture. It knows no better. Remember when two people meet, it’s a threesome of two individuals and culture.
Per Epictetus, not needing wealth is more valuable than wealth itself is.
Avoid connoisseurship. The inability to enjoy simple things in life and needing to constantly require “the best”.
For any desire, consider if it’s natural or unnatural. Think carefully if unnatural.
“The man who adapts himself to his slender means and makes himself wealthy on a little sum, is the truly rich man.” - Seneca
“He who knows contentment is rich.” - Lao Tzu
“A Stoic who disparages wealth might become wealthier than those individuals whose principal goal is its acquisition.”
Lust is a major distraction in daily living. Something that is somewhat in our control I think. The feelings are hardwired into us and the part is out of our control. But what we do is within our control to not act on it.
As Henry David Thoreau points out, a fear forth having is the fear of realizing one had not lived. At least, not lived a life worth living.
Modern views on grief dictate one should vent it all out. In ways, psychologists should/will say that because that belief keeps them employed. Whether it works or not, incentives dictate this action. But consider how merely venting grief outward to others to be a lazy action. By venting, are you not hoping to offload your responsibility in mastering your emotions and facing the grief? Stoicism would dictate one sit with one’s own grief and reason with it. Reason with yourself. That’s how you can possibly master the self. Venting it all out to some paid person is no way to master yourself truly.
I think the Stoic view of taking ownership of the self and one’s life is why and how it influenced the transcendentalist philosophers like Thoreau and Schopenhauer who emphasized self-reliance.
Telling the world our problems won’t solve anything. Grief is an emotion to take hold of and to reason with to minimize. Not to hope it goes away completely. It’s about overcoming it. This requires a strong mentality. One’s attitude is what will determine whether one is happy or not. It is what will make one a victim of the world or the conqueror of it. People who think they are victims of some unfair system will end their lives in such a state.
“A man is as wretched as he has convinced himself that he is.” - Seneca
I think. Therefore, I am.
“The Stoics...were convinced that what stands between most of us and happiness is not our government or the society in which we live, but defects in our philosophy of life - or our flaking to have a philosophy at all.”
“Others may have it in their power to affect how and even whether you I’ve, but they do not, say the Stoics, have it in their power to ruin your life. Only you can ruin it, by failing to live in accordance with the correct values.”
This is to say, if the goal is social reform of any magnitude, one need not look anywhere else but oneself to make the change. How can you think about helping the world when you’re such a mess? Changing yourself will change the environment. That’s how sustainable change happens. Top-down never works.
A key difference between modern psychologists and ancient Stoics is that the Stoics actually had an opinion and told people what to do in order to have a good life. They didn’t just sit and ask question after question without giving a directive. At the end of the day, people want directives.
Two principal sources of unhappiness are 1) insatiability and 2) worrying about things beyond our control. Limiting both would at least prevent the majority of unhappiness, giving happiness a chance.
“Those who lack self-discipline will have the path they take through life determined by someone or something else, and as a result, there is a very real danger that they will mislive.”
Remember, attaining everything your friends crave and work hard to afford will in no way contribute to your ability to have a good life and how happy you truly are.
There are many different kinds of philosophies. Like religion. No single one is right or the best. One needs to explore and look for what sticks. It’s probably why Buffett, Munger, and the world of value investing made sense to me and other forms of investing didn’t. Also probably why Stoicism stuck for me and others didn’t as much. It’s as much about your own wiring so it’s important to explore various kinds of philosophies.
Even if one’s philosophy isn’t perfect/ideal, having one is better than living with no philosophy.
As Buffett says, it’s better to be approximately right than precisely wrong. Certainty only exists in mathematics and we are living in a probabilistic world. There is no way to know what philosophy of life is best, right or whatever positive reinforcement/proof one needs. But there is no doubt that having a philosophy of life…at least trying it out is an asymmetric bet with minimal downside and limitless upside. So, why wouldn’t one take it?