There are many cascading thoughts around the word ‘rules’. As someone who enjoys poking holes and questioning what most people around me do, it’s always had an antagonistic symbol for me.

Whenever one reads about trailblazers, pioneers, etc…words like rule-breaker or disregarding the rules are commonly associated with them. However, not all rules are bad. Quite frankly, one can say that most innovation is born from having constraints. One cannot think outside the box without a box to begin with.

So that is one-way rules are helpful. It's kind of like marking “beyond this zone is where one should explore”. Turns out, I love setting rules for myself. Though I don’t enjoy many that are set for me, I love setting my own….and this really is what system creation is about. A set of commands.

Jocko Willink often says discipline equals freedom. I agree with the message. I’ve always felt the “discipline" I had was merely doing things I enjoyed and setting up schedules so I always make time to do them. For example, my training, eating and reading habits have been echoed as ‘discipline’ by friends but I tell them I just don’t do other things because I enjoy having these habits.

But habits are just another way to refer to the rules one wishes to set for one’s life. I don’t drink alcohol on days I train and that’s as much a habit as a rule. I don’t have to think about it. I go on autopilot because these are really not the ones I need to be straining judgment muscles on. Especially when the upside….really is minimal compared to the downsides of poor recovery and second-order effects of a poor training session the next day.

There are many rules I set myself. Much like writing daily, reading daily, fasting daily, etc….I follow them like a religion…and it helps me make decisions. I don’t ever schedule any breakfast meetings because I know I won’t be done my fasts…and it’s also when I’m more effective so meetings get scheduled for afternoons.

It’s true that my rules can get annoying for those close to me. But it’s like when someone has a vegetarian friend. The majority will accommodate the minority that has a set of rules. I think Taleb calls this is the minority rule and if the rules make sense, it benefits the majority to follow the minority, and those without rules end up following the rules of my life.

I think... because of this, my partner and mother developed reading habits over the past year where we discuss books together. But no matter how much I like setting these rules, the part of me that likes to please people…or rather fit in…it’s more of a selfish need than altruistic….this need makes me think twice about setting such rules.

I’ve experienced the other side of being a rule-setter. It seems another human tendency is to poke holes in why someone’s characteristics are negative (gossip wouldn’t be common stance if this wasn’t the case). At least, whenever I tell someone I love systems and setting rules for myself, I get feedback along with the likes of “oh so you must be very inflexible.”

I then usually have to explain that such rules actually help free me up to be flexible in doing the important things. That these rules help me be more effective and limit time waste on other activities. It generally makes me happier too and that’s another reason for modifying the many rules I have.

But, I often catch myself trying to downplay the many rules I make for myself because I don’t want to seem inflexible. I get rather defensive about it at times and even try to downplay it. It might be because I’m embarrassed but I think it’s when you just want to like ‘one of the guys’.

The thing I’d rather do is say I’m happy with how I live my life so tough if you don’t like it. But such is the pain of feeling misunderstood that I seem to default to….playing along with the rule-less attitude. That is, instead of sitting them down to explain the value of constructing rules in one’s own life.

The reality is, it’s a church one needs to believe in…not one I can forcibly convert folks into. Even to get someone to understand seems challenging. But, I imagine when they want to take control of their lives, they will see that the rules they make for themselves will be what sets them free.

It’s a continuous journey and this is one point to remind me to unapologetically set more rules for myself.